Thursday, 11 March 2010

This is what I need, but not yet!

I just had the best Jenif realization today. It's taken me 2 months and 2 days, to finally realize what the cunting hell this is all about. I'm listening to the most cheesiest drum and bass ever and I couldn't be happier. It's just now Friday the 12th of March. Its been well over 2 months since I left James, to try and seek my own inner happiness without the comfort of a man, to enjoy the things that make me, me. I've managed to see the real me finally poking her head out from behind the door. I've learnt that waking up every morning now knowing from the comfort of my own head and heart that nobody loves me right now is what I've been waiting for, a stepping stone. I have my beautiful family and my wonderful friends, but I do not have the love of a man, and this isn't scaring me. I'm not frightened and I definitely do not feel alone. This is a big step for me, if you knew me; if you'd known me from day one. But you're probably not knowing the first thing about me, and thinking you silly bint. But I'm really happy. I'm going to go to bed in a minute, take a deep breath and start again and this time do it all for myself not for a guy.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss :)

I think a very special person will now what I mean from these photos and what I look forward to in the future. That they know its about time Jenif put all her energy into being creative and smacking this degree up hard!

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