Deep Bass

One of my biggest loves in the world, is my love of bass. I can't really express the energy I have for my music. It's like its under my skin, like bolts of electricity through my nerves. I get so hyped, my teeth chatter and I'm anxious as hell, as soon as I walk through the doors into a crowded dingy room, feel the music thumping and the deep bass hitting my chest like I'm going to explode, I'm happy as anything.

My love for Drum and Bass and Dubstep has meant I have met some of the most amazing people in my life. I've happened upon lovers and best friends. It's sent me on adventures and explorations. My next one being Croatia in September to hear Reggae, Dub, Dubstep and Drum and Bass played on beaches, in caves, dungeons and forts. It's going to be amazing.

Cows, Sunsets and Best Friends

I managed to just about catch the last of the sunset. I hardly had time to set my camera up properly and I was constantly searching for glimpses of pink and purple shades along the skyline. I followed the cloudy vortex into Kitts Lane pointing my camera at the swirly marshmallow shapes. These shots are too dark and I wished I'd had more time. I haven't tampered with these. But I like their eeriness. Me and Nat walked along the empty country roads chit chatting about who we are now and the lives we now have. I sometimes forget what a wonderful place Barnet is. It's so close to London yet so far. In a 15 minute walk I'm next to farms and fields and in 15 minutes I can be on a train arriving in Kings Cross.

I just couldn't wipe the silly smile off my face, the feeling of freedom as I walked down the road with my hood up and a spring in my step.I'm enjoying the new life I now lead.

Deus ex machina

So I occasionally step into the world of Tumblr. It's normally a bad move, makes me think about everything too much. Yet I enjoy it, for all that its worth, makes me remember all the beauty in the world that awaits me, when I'm close to forgetting. I become mesmerized by every single photograph and drawing, including the places people have visited and the wonder they have seen. I'd just thought I'd show you some of the things that have lured me in, the things that explain my feelings in ways words never could.

I also learnt a phrase:

'Deus ex Machina' which means- a plot device whereby a seemingly inextricable problem is suddenly and abruptly solved with the contrived and unexpected intervention of some new character, ability or object.

Baby we need a dues ex machina...

I put on repeat the first minute of Modestep - Exile. Its so beautiful, shame about the following 3 minutes....

White Lies

This photo seems weird, but there is something I like about it. This was in my old house, must of been taken last summer. My hair is brown and shorter with no shaved sides. This was taken as I was just getting used to using my camera. I remember seeing some images on Deviant Art and being so frustrated that I couldn't use my camera and create something as amazing as the shots I had seen, and I still felt like that not longer than 2 months ago. But making this blog has changed my outlook, I'm dedicated to taking shots at least once every two days. Doesn't matter if there not perfect but I want them to at least allow me to express myself and describe in some small detail the way I live and who I am.

Listening to: Martyn-Black Lies

Diary

I cannot concentrate for the life of me. I have food in my belly and I've slept a sufficient amount, yet I'm staring blankly at my essay that isn't going to write itself. My hands are covered in ink from scribbles and notes. The definitive gold box edition of Twin Peaks is staring at me, so is that bottle of becks, so either way I'm not winning.

I cannot help but succumb to my cravings.

I'm going to have to put on some Bonobo, drift into the world of psychoanalysis and feminist film theory and just try to to get at least 1000 words done tonight.

Taken in my room of my messy desk space.

Ps. yes I do realize I use a Harry Potter pirated DVD case as a mouse mat. Well I wasn't exactly going to watch it was I?

Listening to: Bonobo- Shadowtricks

You Can't Teach God Anything.

I also noticed I never explained the reason for my Blog title...or where indeed it came from.

Here is the quote.

"I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love? I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything."

— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

Haha of course where the fuck else?

Laughing Cat

Its 00.21am I'm pretty beat. I did oversleep today and miss university. A usual occurrence with me, I tend to have lots of late nights on the computer and the daunting idea of taking a train at 8.30 in the morning is less than appealing; so I stay up and avoid it by oversleeping and not feeling to guilty when its gone midday. I did have quite an eventful day. A nice long walk down by Hadley Woods, where this picture was taken, walking a route I took for 5 years to and from Secondary School. I had to walk this way to get to my best friend Nat. Its through an old church graveyard and then onto Hadley Common We arranged to have a Pizza Express lunch with Mia and Sam and watched Dear John at the cinema. Awful film by the way, I just wanted to kick everyone, repeatedly.

Then it was back with Nat to talk about the old days, hair, art and music. I also caught up with Vicky, Nat's younger sister. I've been close to that family for 5 years and known Nat for 7.

Seeing her (rarely these days, sadly) reminds me of the great effect we have on each other, friends through so much, with a unique bond no one can break. I want to be a good godmother to her baby Noel and be the best I can be to Nat, I do love her dearly, always will and always have.

'We just bought some soap and cheese'

Listening to: Laura Marling - Hope in the Air

We only part to meet again.

We didn't really get to say goodbye, not face to face anyway. But encase you happen upon this while in some random internet cafe in mexico, or any of the other distant countries you visit, perhaps you'll read it when you return in however long that may be, maybe you will have forgotten I ever even wrote a blog and you could randomly happen upon it when you're 35 or maybe never. I just wanted to leave you a goodbye, a farewell for now and a hope to one day see you in the future. Be it bumping into you on a busy street in London or arranging to meet you for a coffee and a walk through regents park to talk about the past. Either way I want you to know that I will miss you. And for all that its worth, maybe a little too late; you are a fantastic person and I am so glad to have met you and maybe have some effect on you life, no matter how small it is now. I loved you intensely for a year and a half, and there will always be a part of me that does.

All My Love

Jennifer

P.S please listen to Laura Marling's new album. I Speak Because I can.

I only think of you when I listen to her songs.

My favourite songs are Rambling Man, Blackberry Stone, What He Wrote and Darkness Descends.

This shot was taken in my room today, I've removed my septum and smiley piercing

Listening to : Laura Marling - Rambling Man